Adrift.

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A little confused, a little lost.

Should I stay or should I move?

I said, “Just one more time.”

‘Cos I thought everything’s gonna be sublime. 

How many times did I convince myself of this and that?

I can’t remember, I’ve lost count.

The days passed by quickly,

Life is fleeting in front of me.

Weighing the things that really matter,

I need the courage to jump into the water.

I whispered, “Just go. Dream bigger.”

But I hesitated ‘cos I don’t even know what to do, for starters.

My messed up mind is becoming tired.

Passion is losing in my beating heart.

A friend said, “We walk on this earth only once.”

It made me wonder, “Can I just go to Neverland?”

Middle of Nowhere.

“Follow your dreams. Do what makes you happy. It’s your life after all.” Three sentences I carved in my heart and soul. I don’t give a dime to what other people say.

Life is easy. Or so I thought or what I want to believe. Now I realize, while doing what I want or striving to follow my dreams, there are people dear to me whom I didn’t give much time than I should. I’ve been caught up with my own problems in the past year that I didn’t think about those who really matter.

Living miles away from loved-ones is not easy. I always tell myself that this is just for temporary, that there’s a way out… It’s been two years and I have the same dialogue to myself.

I just keep holding onto prayers and faith that there’s still a lot of time to be together, that we are all invincible, and that there’s always a happy ending.

Maybe reality wants to kick me hard. But I just always close my eyes, put earphones on my ears, and filter the thoughts in my mind.

Now, I’m lost. My heart is bleeding. And yeah, I want to kick myself too.