NOVEL (Title TBA) // Prologue ㅣ Coffee?

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It was 9 in the morning. Jamie was just sitting on her bed after washing up and making sure all her things were all packed-up. It was her last day in the city and she was feeling down about leaving. Her flight would still be at night but she had to check-out before 12 noon.

Her phone buzzed. Someone sent her a message.

It was Casey.

She felt her heart beat a little faster.

Coffee?” he asked.

A little confused, she typed ‘Yes’ but hesitated to send it. Eventually, she deleted it.

‘Are you asking me if I like coffee or just teasing me because I like coffee?’ she muttered to herself frustratingly. She really likes this guy but she couldn’t tell him and she was exerting all her effort to act normal around him.

She was thinking of anything brilliant she could say to make their exchange of messages longer. She couldn’t think of anything.

She settled to, “Yes. Good morning :)”

She sent the message with a smile on her face as if Casey could see her. But she’s freaking worried each second without a reply from him.

Two minutes passed by when she received a photo of a cafe and two more messages from Casey.

 “Good morning :)”

“I’m here at a cafe across your hotel. I’ll wait for you.”

She didn’t know what to do. Excitement and nervousness swept over her.

Adrift.

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A little confused, a little lost.

Should I stay or should I move?

I said, “Just one more time.”

‘Cos I thought everything’s gonna be sublime. 

How many times did I convince myself of this and that?

I can’t remember, I’ve lost count.

The days passed by quickly,

Life is fleeting in front of me.

Weighing the things that really matter,

I need the courage to jump into the water.

I whispered, “Just go. Dream bigger.”

But I hesitated ‘cos I don’t even know what to do, for starters.

My messed up mind is becoming tired.

Passion is losing in my beating heart.

A friend said, “We walk on this earth only once.”

It made me wonder, “Can I just go to Neverland?”

TUESDAY TATTLES ㅣ09.01.16

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09.01.16 ㅣ Saturday

I just got back from my one-month annual vacation. I didn’t get as sad as I used to feel whenever I come back here. Maybe because I was too tired with my flight (which was delayed for 3 hours by the way). I arrived at 2:15 am in Doha airport, waited for my luggage for 15 minutes, panicked when one of my checked-in luggage didn’t come out in the assigned baggage belt (Belt number 5) for our flight. I had to go to Baggage Services department to inform them and they advised me that there were a few bags transferred to Belt Number 1. Luckily, I found my bag after waiting for 10 minutes. I was able to leave the airport at past 3:00 am.

I was too tired, stressed, and sleepy to get emotional. I reached home at 3:20 am. I unpacked my bags, fixed my things, put on new bed sheets and pillow cases, washed up, and was good to sleep at 4:30 am. My alarm went off before I even get in a deep sleep and dreamland.

It was 6:30 am. I had to get ready for my 7:30 am work.

Reality kicked in. 11 months of routinary life to me.

Can’t wait for my next vacation…

TUESDAY TATTLESㅣGo Away. Give Me A Chance To Miss You… (But I won’t. Just go.)

Photo courtesy: http://memecenter.com

Fickle-minded. Almost always confused. Yes, I am. *Me: timidly standing in one corner, shyly looking down while slowly raising my right hand.* 

I keep changing my mind and feelings frequently. It’s too frequent that if the biochemical reactions to my mental and my emotional stimuli could roll their eyes or could just simply hand over to me their responsibilities and leave, they would.

I guess my hormones are in constant rotating shift schedule. Or maybe they are too happy to be part of me because I usually don’t mind anything. (I imagine my  hormones dozing off while some are happily sliding and skinny dipping in my bloodstream!)

It’s not because I don’t care or I’m too cool. It’s mainly because I’m just lazy for arguments. “Do whatever,” I’d always say.

If I like you it means I really do. No reservations, no vagueness, and no pretensions. But it doesn’t mean I’d be forever amused with you or I’d always want your company or see your face or hear your voice. No!

I get sick and tired easily and quietly (both literal and figurative). I can’t hang out with the same people everyday or every week or any set schedule. I can’t even talk to the same person for long. That’s why I’m only friends with people I really like, not to those I just ‘kinda’ like.

I always crave for distance. I need my own cave. Sometimes I think I am a man trapped in a woman’s body. You know how men are, right? Most of them, if not all, need their distance without a single thing in their mind.. Blank. Nada. I’m like that.

If I’m being pushed to my limit, I tend to cut connections, again literally and figuratively. I fade out. I can easily drop clingy and toxic pals. Bye, Felicia!

(After reading some articles, I think maybe I’m an introvert. Shoutout to Huffpost! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8576530)

 

 

TUESDAY TATTLES ㅣDown In The Dumps.. 8 years ago.

I went through my old e-mails and found some interesting articles I wrote way back. I wonder what was I thinking and feeling while I was writing this. Did I take a bitter pill? Or was it one of those days I was too bored but the words kept popping in my head so I had to type them away? One thing is for sure, I wasn’t feeling a bit of heartbreak then. Strange…

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Photo courtesy: http://www.9gag.com

16 February 2007

There are things that are meant to happen.. So don’t blame anyone for the things you had and might regret, even yourself. Yes, even yourself.

When you were much younger, you thought that the world is filled with roses and fantasies. You started to dream.. Each day, your dreams became bigger and bigger. You carefully put them on hold with a plan to realize them when you are ready and capable to accomplish such mature dreams.

You thought that you were invincible, nothing and no one can hurt you, because you were innocent and young. As you grew a little older, you realized that no one has the ability to shield oneself from hurt and pain.

You learned that despite of not doing anything bad or unjust to anyone, there will always be some people who would love to see you down and miserable.

At first you would be surprised that some could promise you their love and treat you like you are their everything; you are their world, you are their life. But after a while, soon before you realize that the world can make you cry and long before you know that someone who had made you believe in dreams and fantasies was just lying, you’d discover that anyone could simply walk out of your life leaving no trace of the promises they made.

You’d suffer yourself from all the heartaches and heartbreaks. The pain would be too much to bear that you could swear you would never ever fall for someone again…

MONDAY MOVESㅣ Breaking Up With Mondaze

It’s Monday.. Yeah, I know Monday is ‘THE DREADED DAY’ to most of you. I used to hate Mondays too! Thankfully (Thankful?! Oh really now? *crickets sound*), my schedule now is different. I rekindled my relationship with Monday long time ago.

I go to work 6 days a week. Friday is the new weekend to me. Yup, only one day. So people, please be grateful if you have two days off and amazing long weekends every freakin* month! I don’t have those.

How to move on from Monday? Motivate yourself! Think about your plans. Isn’t it exciting that when Monday comes, it means one day less until your most awaited date? It could be a weekend getaway, a dream trip you’ve been planning for months or years, or a special occasion that makes your heart flutter.

When I feel the Monday blues, I list down all the things I want to do in a month or two. And never accomplish most of them.. How inspiring, right? But it’s not the point. Realizing what you want to do makes you excited everyday.

Here are some of the things I’m most elated about:

  • Going home to my family and friends! Yey!!! Seeing them is the one I’m most ecstatic, elated, euphoric about that I can’t stop counting down the days.
  • Trip to one of my favorite cities! ❤ *fingers crossed* ♫So love me like you do, love me like you do. Love me like you do, love me like you do♪ (My friend said she will play “Love Me Like You Do” in the background when I meet someone special during this trip. *giggles* *blushes*. So if you are reading this and you hear that song when we meet, it means you’re that someone special.. Haha!)
  • Christmas and New Year! There’s nothing like being at home for Christmas Holidays. *Cue: ♫Cause this year (this year). I’ll be home for Christmas♪*   
  • Other plans: brush up my driving skills, refresh my talent in playing the keys (I had piano lessons when I was a kid and the only song I can remember now is “Tug of War”), and take seriously my urge to become fluent in at least one of the three foreign languages I’ve been meaning to learn since the stone age.

If I’d be honest with myself, I don’t think my “other plans” will come to fruition. I know I will just laze around during my whole vacation; watch movies & tv series, go here and there, food trip, and enjoy home sweet home.

Basically, these are the few things that make me look forward to each and every coming day.

Hi there, Monday!

But first, coffee.

 

Hello! (again)

Time check: 02:30am

I’m so unpredictable that even I couldn’t predict myself. Why am I writing (after watching my go-to feel good movie, Chalet Girl, for the nth time!) during witching hour when I have to go to work at 07:30am? I’m pretty sure I’ll be late again tomorrow..

Anyway, I have a lot of things in my mind lately; mostly about the good times in the past and future plans. I have so many plans that I don’t even know which one to start. I don’t want any of them to get jealous and say that I prioritize one thing over the others. That’s why they are still plans. Yeah, I am an adult. *sigh*

The other day, I decided to reread my entries here. It surprised me that the last time I wrote was 7 months ago. I’ve been a delinquent blogger. When I like to do something, I get so fired up at the start but the fire is out as soon as the sun goes down. Literally. That’s not a metaphor or something.

But I have a good news for you my dear writer/blogger/reader/lurker friends! I realized something while I was rereading eveything I wrote here in my blog. There are some things I said jokingly that came true; setting foot in Europe, dining in al fresco, and meeting some strangers (who became my good friends now). Yup, they came true.. Twice! In less than a year at that *Winning at life. Yey!*😀 And there are some that are about to happen. Well, let’s see… *Giggles. Fingers crossed.*

I couldn’t help myself but to smile (while having goose bumps) and to feel really grateful and blessed. Words really are powerful. We should only talk and write about the positive ones. You guys can try it!

Talk to you again soon!With extra special “rewards.”

To God be the glory. 🙂