Adrift.

969692_10151510759743250_317460889_n

A little confused, a little lost.

Should I stay or should I move?

I said, “Just one more time.”

‘Cos I thought everything’s gonna be sublime. 

How many times did I convince myself of this and that?

I can’t remember, I’ve lost count.

The days passed by quickly,

Life is fleeting in front of me.

Weighing the things that really matter,

I need the courage to jump into the water.

I whispered, “Just go. Dream bigger.”

But I hesitated ‘cos I don’t even know what to do, for starters.

My messed up mind is becoming tired.

Passion is losing in my beating heart.

A friend said, “We walk on this earth only once.”

It made me wonder, “Can I just go to Neverland?”

Hello! (again)

Time check: 02:30am

I’m so unpredictable that even I couldn’t predict myself. Why am I writing (after watching my go-to feel good movie, Chalet Girl, for the nth time!) during witching hour when I have to go to work at 07:30am? I’m pretty sure I’ll be late again tomorrow..

Anyway, I have a lot of things in my mind lately; mostly about the good times in the past and future plans. I have so many plans that I don’t even know which one to start. I don’t want any of them to get jealous and say that I prioritize one thing over the others. That’s why they are still plans. Yeah, I am an adult. *sigh*

The other day, I decided to reread my entries here. It surprised me that the last time I wrote was 7 months ago. I’ve been a delinquent blogger. When I like to do something, I get so fired up at the start but the fire is out as soon as the sun goes down. Literally. That’s not a metaphor or something.

But I have a good news for you my dear writer/blogger/reader/lurker friends! I realized something while I was rereading eveything I wrote here in my blog. There are some things I said jokingly that came true; setting foot in Europe, dining in al fresco, and meeting some strangers (who became my good friends now). Yup, they came true.. Twice! In less than a year at that *Winning at life. Yey!*😀 And there are some that are about to happen. Well, let’s see… *Giggles. Fingers crossed.*

I couldn’t help myself but to smile (while having goose bumps) and to feel really grateful and blessed. Words really are powerful. We should only talk and write about the positive ones. You guys can try it!

Talk to you again soon!With extra special “rewards.”

To God be the glory. 🙂

Middle of Nowhere.

“Follow your dreams. Do what makes you happy. It’s your life after all.” Three sentences I carved in my heart and soul. I don’t give a dime to what other people say.

Life is easy. Or so I thought or what I want to believe. Now I realize, while doing what I want or striving to follow my dreams, there are people dear to me whom I didn’t give much time than I should. I’ve been caught up with my own problems in the past year that I didn’t think about those who really matter.

Living miles away from loved-ones is not easy. I always tell myself that this is just for temporary, that there’s a way out… It’s been two years and I have the same dialogue to myself.

I just keep holding onto prayers and faith that there’s still a lot of time to be together, that we are all invincible, and that there’s always a happy ending.

Maybe reality wants to kick me hard. But I just always close my eyes, put earphones on my ears, and filter the thoughts in my mind.

Now, I’m lost. My heart is bleeding. And yeah, I want to kick myself too.

“Hey” & “Blah” (HB)

20garden

“Hey..” is most likely the only word that will come out of my mouth when I see you. I can imagine myself just standing in front of you, tongue-tied, and struck with awe.

Bitten by your charm bug, I definitely am. I can’t fathom how a person from a million of miles away would have such an impact in my mood and in my mind.

How could you come into my life without a warning? I was living peacefully until you came and put each of my days in deep reverie.

By mere seeing your name, my heart would jump. You’re greater than the serotonin in my coffee cup.

How dare you? How dare you steal a part of me in just a snap? You make me think how different we are and how we are apart.

But who knows what the future holds? It may be written in the stars that I will meet you someday. Our story might just start with “Hey..”

Coffee, friends, and my boo-boo.

71d716d41fbdab81ed204a9d978c91041d704940bade66416ecfbcf50ba35d6f

Flushed. I can feel my face is burning red and is numb. Do you know the feeling of arguing with someone while thinking the ace card is on your side? You’d contemplate on how dumb that person could be to even express himself when you both know that you know better than him.. only to find out later that you were wrong.

Earlier, I was arguing with my friend and I discovered later that he was right.

My self-righteous conscience smirked at me making my damaged pride pack its suitcase and it left me without saying goodbye.

I remember one time, my bestfriend and I met in a mall. We were looking for a coffee shop, CBTL to be specific. I forgot what that acronym stands for after a long time of not going there. I settled for “Coffee Blend” and didn’t bother what the “TL” means.

“Where’s the ‘CBTL? Coffee Blend?’ I asked the guard who was roaming around. “Huh? ‘Coffee Bleend,’ go straight and turn right. My eyes wanted to roll but I just smiled and thanked him. Bubble thought: “The nerve of that man to correct me. My pronunciation is the right one!”

Thinking about that innocent man and my bestfriend who wouldn’t stop laughing, I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I did and thought. Well, not really. Maybe just a little bit. Anyway, of course the guard was right. I just misheard him. It’s Coffee Bean.

I have the same stories in different situations. I just never learn.

My mind is a b*tch. It can go from very pleasant to cruel one. But hey, I am glad my mouth has a filter.

Too Cool For Facebook.

“What’s on your mind?,” my dear Facebook wall asked me. It seemed so concerned with my life. It sounded like a friend, or a mother at times. But then, each time I replied to its question, it never answered back. When I was feeling happy, it ignored me. When I was down or mad, it didn’t care and it made me sound like a crazy childish b*tch. So, I think it’s just like a gossipmonger who wanted to know the fishy details about me and let the world see them.

Have you questioned yourself for a second if you should accept the friend request of that colleague whom you never talked to more than “hi’s and hello’s”? Or that girl you went with in grade school or high school? We have those facebook friends we’re not really friends with in real life. You’re a snob if you decline their friend requests. You’re at risk to gossips if you do. To shrug it off, you clicked yes and added them to “restricted” list.

Last night, I was hanging out with my girlfriends and we were talking about how we can’t control the urge to browse our phones to check our Facebooks every now and then. It’s always the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing at night. Yeah, even during those times we came home from a fun party, worse, even while we were in a party.

Have you ever thought about how the mysterious effect has gone? Imagine, it’s your high school reunion. You prepped and dressed up. You were fashionably late as you planned so everyone’s eyes would be on you when you arrive. Did you hear the oohhhs and ahhhs  you were expecting? No?  It’s probably because they were not interested on what’s new with you. Nobody even dared to ask “How have you been?” because they know more than they should know about you.

Don’t rely on social media to reach out for your loved-ones and friends. Why would you be like “Hey, I heard you guys broke up. Are you okay?”? And you wrote that on the WALL! Settings: Public! Are you effing kidding me?! Just contact that person! You’re wasting earth’s energy. Seriously.

George Clooney once said, ‘If you’re famous and on Twitter, you’re a moron’.

I say, “The less people know about you, the more they become interested in you.”

Bring back the air of mystery. It’s sexy.

Oh, my little one.

Dear future child,

I’ve been a very good daughter to your grandma and gramps.

Please be twice as good as I was. (Yes, I was good and I still am.)

Don’t you ever smoke or drink. Please never ever come home late.

Don’t get any girl pregnant or don’t get pregnant. Whichever applies.

I’m still single but you are already giving me minor heart attacks.

Love you,

❤️

20140730-060644-22004917.jpg