Should I?

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I was at the hospital last Thursday for my appointment with the neurologist. An appointment that was made two months ago. Imagine that! I was thinking if I were in a critical condition, I’d never get to meet that doctor in my lifetime.

Anyway, I was there because of my migraine. I suffered a two-week excruciating pain on the right side of my head. I just assumed it was a migraine. All the symptoms pointed to “migraine” when I googled it. My CT scan result was normal (thankfully), that’s why I was appeased to wait for two freaking months before a specialist could check and tell me if I am still going to live on this earth.

My neurologist prescribed me two types of medicines; Zomig is for easing the pain. This is familiar to me because one of my best friends, who is a nurse, brought me a box of it during my battle with the headache; Topamax is for prevention or to lessen the occurrence of  headache. I was nervous the instant he said that it is originally formulated to treat epilepsy. I was like, “What is wrong with you, doctor?!” Of course I did not say it out loud. I am pretty sure I even looked like I was listening to him intently.

He said Topamax prevents migraine if given in right dosage. But my I-know-better-than-you-side-of-mind wouldn’t like to accept it. What if I become the one in a million case who will have epilepsy rather than be cured from migraine? (this is just my wild imagination working). What if the side effects such as numbness, negative effect in eyesight, and weight loss become permanent? Oh well, I won’t mind the weight loss.

I was convincing myself that I should take those medicines for my own good. And because I have to see him again after three months. Yeah, it was really more because of the latter.

To convince myself more and to give me some confidence in that drug, I consulted my genius friend, Google. To my horror, the reviews scared me more. The two things that made me swear not to take it: 1.Kidney stones. My love affair with salt since I was a kid wouldn’t help me to take a piece of that medicine. 2.Forgetting words mid sentence. Good luck to me if I’ll remember anything once it hit me. I keep forgetting some things now, what more if I take something that will cause me memory loss? Ugh.

Fifty-first dates or The notebook fate-alike? No thanks.

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