Should I?

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I was at the hospital last Thursday for my appointment with the neurologist. An appointment that was made two months ago. Imagine that! I was thinking if I were in a critical condition, I’d never get to meet that doctor in my lifetime.

Anyway, I was there because of my migraine. I suffered a two-week excruciating pain on the right side of my head. I just assumed it was a migraine. All the symptoms pointed to “migraine” when I googled it. My CT scan result was normal (thankfully), that’s why I was appeased to wait for two freaking months before a specialist could check and tell me if I am still going to live on this earth.

My neurologist prescribed me two types of medicines; Zomig is for easing the pain. This is familiar to me because one of my best friends, who is a nurse, brought me a box of it during my battle with the headache; Topamax is for prevention or to lessen the occurrence of  headache. I was nervous the instant he said that it is originally formulated to treat epilepsy. I was like, “What is wrong with you, doctor?!” Of course I did not say it out loud. I am pretty sure I even looked like I was listening to him intently.

He said Topamax prevents migraine if given in right dosage. But my I-know-better-than-you-side-of-mind wouldn’t like to accept it. What if I become the one in a million case who will have epilepsy rather than be cured from migraine? (this is just my wild imagination working). What if the side effects such as numbness, negative effect in eyesight, and weight loss become permanent? Oh well, I won’t mind the weight loss.

I was convincing myself that I just should take those medicines for my own good. And because I have to see him again after three months. Yeah, it is really more because of the latter.

To convince myself more and to give me some confidence in that drug, I consulted my genius friend, Google. To my horror, the reviews scared me more. There were just two things that made me swear not to take it. Kidney stones? My love affair with salt since I was a kid wouldn’t help me to take a piece of that medicine. Forgetting words mid sentence? Good luck to me if I’ll remember anything once it hit me. I keep forgetting some things now, what more if I take something that will enhance my memory loss? Ugh.

Fifty-first dates or The notebook fate-alike? No thanks.

“Hey” & “Blah” (HB)

20garden

“Hey..” is most likely the only word that will come out of my mouth when I see you. I can imagine myself just standing in front of you, tongue-tied, and struck with awe.

Bitten by your charm bug, I definitely am. I can’t fathom how a person from a million of miles away would have such an impact in my mood and in my mind.

How could you come into my life without a warning? I was living peacefully until you came and put each of my days in deep reverie.

By mere seeing your name, my heart would jump. You’re greater than the serotonin in my coffee cup.

How dare you? How dare you steal a part of me in just a snap? You make me think how different we are and how we are apart.

But who knows what the future holds? It may be written in the stars that I will meet you someday. Our story might just start with “Hey..”

Coffee, friends, and my boo-boo.

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Flushed. I can feel my face is burning red and is numb. Do you know the feeling of arguing with someone while thinking the ace card is on your side? You’d contemplate on how dumb that person could be to even express himself when you both know that you know better than him.. only to find out later that you were wrong.

Earlier, I was arguing with my friend and I discovered later that he was right.

My self-righteous conscience smirked at me making my damaged pride pack its suitcase and it left me without saying goodbye.

I remember one time, my bestfriend and I met in a mall. We were looking for a coffee shop, CBTL to be specific. I forgot what that acronym stands for after a long time of not going there. I settled for “Coffee Blend” and didn’t bother what the “TL” means.

“Where’s the ‘CBTL? Coffee Blend?’ I asked the guard who was roaming around. “Huh? ‘Coffee Bleend,’ go straight and turn right. My eyes wanted to roll but I just smiled and thanked him. Bubble thought: “The nerve of that man to correct me. My pronunciation is the right one!”

Thinking about that innocent man and my bestfriend who wouldn’t stop laughing, I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I did and thought. Well, not really. Maybe just a little bit. Anyway, of course the guard was right. I just misheard him. It’s Coffee Bean.

I have the same stories in different situations. I just never learn.

My mind is a b*tch. It can go from very pleasant to cruel one. But hey, I am glad my mouth has a filter.

SUNDAY CHILLㅣAbsolut-ly.

Dear You,

How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while. Have I ever crossed your mind like you do in mine? Maybe not.

I know you’re always busy with someone and some groups of friends. You’re the one that everyone loves to hang around with in any occasion.

You lighten up the mood when things get awkward. You make it easy for anyone to express their buried-deep emotions.

What magic do you possess to make us sing and dance? How do you make everyone get sick of you but still keep coming back?

Your mere existence is something I will never understand. I need to breakaway from you. Is this just for temporary or is this the last goodbye? Don’t ask me now.

I might still see you around. Don’t worry, I will be okay and I will still say ‘Hi’.

Sincerely,

I’m on a diet.

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Too Cool For Facebook.

“What’s on your mind?,” my dear Facebook wall asked me. It seemed so concerned with my life. It sounded like a friend, or a mother at times. But then, each time I replied to its question, it never answered back. When I was feeling happy, it ignored me. When I was down or mad, it didn’t care and it made me sound like a crazy childish b*tch. So, I think it’s just like a gossipmonger who wanted to know the fishy details about me and let the world see them.

Have you questioned yourself for a second if you should accept the friend request of that colleague whom you never talked to more than “hi’s and hello’s”? Or that girl you went with in grade school or high school? We have those facebook friends we’re not really friends with in real life. You’re a snob if you decline their friend requests. You’re at risk to gossips if you do. To shrug it off, you clicked yes and added them to “restricted” list.

Last night, I was hanging out with my girlfriends and we were talking about how we can’t control the urge to browse our phones to check our Facebooks every now and then. It’s always the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing at night. Yeah, even during those times we came home from a fun party, worse, even while we were in a party.

Have you ever thought about how the mysterious effect has gone? Imagine, it’s your high school reunion. You prepped and dressed up. You were fashionably late as you planned so everyone’s eyes would be on you when you arrive. Did you hear the oohhhs and ahhhs  you were expecting? No?  It’s probably because they were not interested on what’s new with you. Nobody even dared to ask “How have you been?” because they know more than they should know about you.

Don’t rely on social media to reach out for your loved-ones and friends. Why would you be like “Hey, I heard you guys broke up. Are you okay?”? And you wrote that on the WALL! Settings: Public! Are you effing kidding me?! Just contact that person! You’re wasting earth’s energy. Seriously.

George Clooney once said, ‘If you’re famous and on Twitter, you’re a moron’.

I say, “The less people know about you, the more they become interested in you.”

Bring back the air of mystery. It’s sexy.

SUNDAY CHILLㅣWhen the ship in the relationship becomes a bad word (that I can’t say) that starts with an “S”.

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It’s Saturday and I am at work. But my mind is far from working. I have this hard-to-resist-week-long-vacation hangover.

The past week was spent with friends drinking, dining out, grabbing coffee and sweets, shopping, and chilling. All these were accompanied with us going crazy, laughing at random things (and I mean laughing really hard), and talking about life, career, and relationsh*ts. Pardon me, it’s relationships. 

While my pretentious self-declared-intellectual mind takes a plunge into the crappy side of relationships, let me tell you what I think of it. This may not be the brighter side point of view than anyone else’s, and I guarantee you this won’t get your so-called love of your life back to your caring arms. But hey, it’s time to get up and dress up! Stop those ‘what could have beens’, ‘what ifs’, and whatnot. Get back in the game, sweetheart!

1. Stop blaming yourself. We cannot see or decipher what is happening behind our backs. We can’t tell ourselves to avoid the jerks because who the hell knows their heinous intentions?! There’s no way we will know the “behind the scenes.” We are not in the romantic movie after all.

2. Get your act together and do the chacha. Have you been crying for days or weeks? Okay, I understand you. Just eat some ice cream and watch movies. Have you been depressed and crying for months or, God forbid, years? Come on. Do not trust that unreliable and sinkable boat in life a.k.a. dating assholes. Don’t cry over them.   Yeah, they have nowhere to go but down and you don’t want to go with them, right?

3. Love yourself and love yourself more. Remember the last time you pampered yourself? NO? Well, go out with your family and friends! Buy some pretty shoes, eye-candy bags, and gorgeous dresses! You’ll get over the self-pitying phase of your life somehow. Strut your stuff and do the cat walk. Wear your confidence. Life is your everyday ramp.

4. Be somebody you’ve always wanted to be. This is the time to explore your hidden talents. Was it your childhood dream to write, draw, paint, sing, dance, or even to become a scientist? Do everything you can do. Time may run out, but your passion won’t. Regrets will surely hunt you down, you better act now.

5. Get up and dress up. This is my favorite mantra. Who the hell has the right to take away your sunshine? No one. So put on your favorite flirty dress, wear your strappy heels, spray your sweet perfume, and you’re ready to go. Don’t forget to wear that gorgeous smile and twinkling eyes. You’re going to conquer the world.

Remember: All things are just in the mind. Choose your thoughts.

Background music: Cee Lo Green’s Forget you (Change the lyrics to F word if necessary!)